The Adventures of Fatrick: Tamago Double Mac

August 30, 2009

I’ve written about a lot of bizarre subjects during my life, but one thing seems consistent – I always end up writing about the terrible things I eat. Stupid? Yes. But hey, everyone loves food journalism, the only difference between that and what I do being I eat utter garbage. Japan offers many strange foods to consume, and that means all sorts of opportunities to write about eating it. Today marks the first entry in our new series “The Adventures of Fatrick,” my infrequent posts about eating food. First up…the Tamago Double Mac.

OK, for the record, I had a coupon for this and I probably wouldn’t have bought it otherwise. But it was a pretty decent deal…saved 60 yen, not too shabby, that’s a pack of gum right there! Plus, it gave me an excuse to eat the first item in the “Nippon All Stars” menu a.k.a. “An American Corporation’s Take on Japanese Cuisine.”

A quick Goggle search reveals tamago is a type of egg that goes well with sushi. “The only problem is that the tamago is so good that once you try some, there might not be any left to make sushi with!” I’m sure it is, but the Tamago Double Mac won’t be my gateway into this treat, as McDonald’s decided to just use an Egg McMuffin patty-thing instead. Very exotic. Otherwise, the burger boasts two patties (which appeared to be seasoned specially), some bacon, cheese and a sauce I’ve never seen before in my life. Fingers crossed for my already doomed arteries.

A quick disclaimer – I don’t like eggs at all. This usually draws some strange looks around the breakfast table, but I just can’t get into the stuff. You think this would deter me from the Tamago Double Mac, but keep in mind this is McDonald’s, so the egg on this burger is as authentically an egg as much as the coin-operated rocket rides outside supermarkets represents the NASA program.

So, how is it?

Should be deported for writing more than 600 words about this

Should be deported for writing more than 600 words about this

Surprisingly, not bad. You can barely taste the egg because, well, it’s McDonald’s. The only reason the creepy McEgg is even on here seems to be to make the whole burger a little bigger. The real shock about the Tamago Double Mac is how tasty the sauce makes this thing – it is really zesty and gives the food item a real, unique taste. This stands as a massive departure from all other items on the McDonald’s menu which can best be described as “tasting vaguely meat-like.” I clearly don’t have any sort of taste, so when I say “this is kinda good” take it with huge caution as it’s coming from someone who thinks a box of Cheez Its and a Coke Zero is fancy living.

So a good McDonald’s item (the lukewarmest of praise), but not remotely representative of Japanese culture and more of American capitalism trying to make a buck. Shocking, McDonald’s isn’t the United Nations. This item leaves the Golden Arches menu this Wednesday to make room for a new Nippon All Star, a true blessing because it’s one of those horrible foodstuffs I know I should eat only once but could easily be swayed into ordering again if I had just enough change in my pocket and I was feeling lazy and I was conveniently near a McDonald’s franchise. Oh, hey, the McDonald’s is right near where I work, morbid obesity here I come!

In order to offer more evidence of the Tamago Double Mac’s existence while also trying to prove I’m not alone in the pathetic, pathetic pursuit of documenting what I eat at American fast-food chains, here is a short video of someone eating the Double Mac and an item I’ll never touch, the Fillet of Shrimp. Shrimp is almost as overrated as eggs in my world.

(Finally, you all should read Seoulful Adventures, a blog started up by my friends Andre and Anna who are teaching English in South Korea. They plan on blogging about food in South Korea, and I’m sure they’ll eat much more interesting things than a glorified double cheeseburger. Check ’em out!)

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