The Adventures Of Fatrick: Mega Teriyaki From McDonald’s Japan
April 25, 2011
Back to writing about what I know best…fast food. And this might not even be the last post about it this week…
McDonald’s Mega Teriyaki, the latest gross-out item to adorn the menu, conceals a few secrets worth revealing right away. For one, it isn’t technically a new item – a Google search turns up the news it actually existed in 2007, and is just getting a reissue of sort now. Second, and more pressing, is what actually constitutes a Mega Teriyaki. This ad, which might be old but still basically reflects how this thing is being hyped up at the moment, portrays it as a Big Mac slathered in the titular sauce. Squint and you can see a white sauce, which one would smartly assume as mayonnaise.
Save for the mayonnaise bit, you’d be wrong.
Tell-tale sign number one – it doesn’t come in the familiar Big Mac box, but rather gets fenced around a rather awkward paper barrier. Remove the barrier and look closely and it quickly becomes clear – that isn’t beef. It’s the same sausage-like “meat” used in breakfast staples like the Egg McMuffin or (my personal favorite when I feel no respect for myself) the McGriddle. The same sausage-like substance…covered in teriyaki sauce.
What does it taste like? Well, like teriyaki. A lot of teriyaki. No other flavor manages to wriggle out of this doused mess…sort of a mixed blessing considering it also neutralizes the mayo, but also everything else. Which would be OK if it weren’t such a messy creature. This thing slides around all over the place, dislocating bits of lettuce and threatening to send the sausage-pork-whatever patty flying out. A tricky dinner.
Yet, despite being deeply sloppy, somehow all that teriyaki sauce manages to stay on the the burger! The physics of McDonald’s creeps me out.